Where is the loveeee (and trees)

May 6, 2008

Ever heard the expression,

“The world has gone to the dogs”?

If you’ve never heard it in your whole life.. let me say it to you now.

The world has gone to the dogs.

(Well, not real literal dogs. It’s just an expression of saying that the world is going down and somehow its related to dogs even though i am not biased against them in fact i love dogs especially my dog who is so adorable to me yet super fierce to strangers. But you don’t wanna hear about my dog. … or do you?) *exhales. phew. that was a long sentence*

Why, you ask me, would i say that?

I would gladly give you my top 3 reasons, yo.

First up,

This world has no more/ little morals anymore. Have you seen the bloodshed? Heard the screams of people who get bashed up or killed over petty wars? *cough: terrorists* Seriously, you go on a goodwill trip to iraq to save starving orpanhs and then you get kidnapped. Then the heartless terrorist ransom you for one of their equally cold-blooded leader. Your government certainly can’t release dangerous man. So what do the terrorist do? They film you get your head cut off by them then send it all around for people to ogle at. (and i think they want to invoke fear and respect in you. but all it does is it makes me ) I’ve seen too many videos to even cringe at the sight of their bleeding lifeless corpse. Now i just glance at it without any emotion (except maybe scream at the disgusting-ness of it all) and all i can do is mutter a silent prayer for the poor tourist who got tangled in this bloody messy war. Over 100,000 civilians were killed in the Iraq war and they had absolutely nothing to do with the disputes of the country! Innocent lives are being treated with violence, resulting in death. I think the amount of blood that has been spilled is enough to cover this whole world with shame. Shame that comes in the form of red, metallic-tasting plasma. And places like Singapore, Hong Kong and Timbuktu will be covered in blood too. Because like the other countries demonstrated, even the innocent gets involved.

Secondly, 

WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF SUPPLIESSSSSSSS!

(I am not saying this out of anger or resentment, but rather I am panicking because I don’t wanna starve and eat beans, and dress in banana leaves, and ride donkeys as transportation, and live in darkness for the rest of my life!)

Okay maybe I’m being a little dramatic here. But really, just imagining about it makes me want to go green and carry a board that says ‘SAVE THE EARTH’ while i parade around Lee Kuan Yew’s house in recycled clothes. 

*wrinkles nose* I can’t imagine wearing recycled clothes though.

Which is why I’m panicking now and am trying my best to help save the environment. I cannot even think of living life so conservatively and so frugally. (okay, maybe I can) Still, I don’t actually want it to happen. So here’s what I’m going to do, and you’d better follow what I say or else you’ll be using candles to read this post as you cry and regret not following me or wait! you won’t even have electricity to read this post and you’ll just have to read Shakespeare to pass the time. With candles. Then your book will catch fire and you’ll have nothing left to read muahaha. SO just read and try to do these simple steps with me to protect the Earth. Remember, unity is power 😀

Felicia’s new and improved ways to save the environment

1) When you throw away 2 aluminum cans, you waste more energy than 1,000,000,000 (one billion) of the world’s poorest people use a day. Crazy huh? I couldn’t really believe it too. Anyway, so what you should do is.. REDUCE REUSE and RECYCLE! Brilliant eh? This awesome message has not been emphasized on enough, i tell you. Yes, next time instead of throwing the cans away, just hang on to it and maybe you can collect them and sell the cans off to recycling companies. Save the Earth and make money at the same time, eh.

2) Carry a shopper bag with you next time you go shopping. Refuse plastic bags when you purchase your items.. even if there is an incredibly cute model on the bag! You may think you’re not making a difference. But every little bit counts 🙂

3) Air conditioning uses 10 times more energy than a fan, therefore, it creates 10 times the pollutants. You know what to do! Sell the air con away and build in two more fans to compensate 😀 

4) The average American makes about 3.5 pounds of trash a day. How to get out of this one? Throw your trash into your neighbors bin when he ain’t looking. Then it would just be ‘Felicia’s neighbor makes about 7 pounds of trash a day, that wasteful man.’

5) Making a new can from scratch uses the uses the energy equal to half a can of gasoline. So we should decant the drinks into our empty cans and the cycle goes on.. except what would we do with our cans that we decanted the drinks from?

6) In one minute, 50 acres of rainforest are destroyed. Um um.. recylce paper and make your handwriting font 6 always okay. And um.. stop time!

7) More than 1,000,000,000 (one billion) trees are used to make disposable diapers every year. And more to produce money to buy them diapers, me thinks.

8) On average, a person in the US uses energy two times more than a person in Japan or West Germany does, and 50 times more than a person in India. This means.. India needs supplies.. pronto!

9) About 80% of our trash goes to landfills, 10% is incinerated, and 10% is recycled.

Man A: chants ‘save the earth! save the earth!’

Man B: how? -.-

Man A: pauses to think. then continues chanting ‘save the earth!’ ‘save the earth!’

10) Since there is little oxygen underground, where we bury our garbage, to help bacteria eat the garbage, almost nothing happens to it. Scientists have dug into landfills and found ears of corn still intact after 20 years, and newspapers still readable after 30. Someone just invent a time machine please.

Done!

I know, I know, I was totally crap from number 3 downwards. But trying to think of ways to save the Earth is tiring.. Why don’t you just go to helpful websites like these and make your own list eh?

http://science.howstuffworks.com/save-earth-top-ten.htm & http://www.savetheearthsite.org/index_2.html

So there. I’ve ranted (and crapped) all I wanted. Feels good to let it out.. Omg this post is super lengthy. Thanks for bearing with me! Or maybe you just skipped the good text and scrolled down here >.<

It’s dinner time, at least that’s what my stomach’s telling me. And who am I to not heed my stomach’s advise?

Thus, I shall bid farewell & remember,

STOP THE KILLING & SAVE THE EARTH,

we all need to grow past our hurts.

the earth’s dying,

people’s dying.

we’ll just starve if we must,

Father Father help us.

Send some guidance from above,

‘cors people’ve got me questionin’,

where’s the love? (and trees?)

Where is the love, the love, the loveeeeeee (and treeeees).

(black eyes peas would be so proud hehe)

 

 

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One Response to “Where is the loveeee (and trees)”

  1. theredpants Says:

    Why would anyone ride a donkey? Poor donkeys …


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