Letter to the past.

Dear Gab,

It’s been so long since I last thought of you. I never meant to forget you. But life has swept me away… just like how it took you away. I’d never imagine that you, just a 4-month old kitten whom I only knew for 6 days, would have such an effect on me.

I remember the day I brought you home to my mom. I was so afraid she’ll make me give you up. But oh, you were so sickly that even she couldn’t bear to send you away.

I remember bringing you to the vet with my friends, and the vet prescribing medicine and food. It cost us 55 dollars, a lot back then when I was only 13.

I remember taking on the role as your mom- forcing the disgusting medicine which you refused to eat into your tiny mouth, smearing minced cat food around your mouth so you could lick it up as you had a block nose and couldn’t smell food. I took great care of you as I took you out of the basket to watch you make your wobbly way to me with those tiny paws.

I even remember catching you every time your unsteady legs gave way. We had a special bond, even though you were an animal and I, a human. It was day 6, and I had so much hope for your future. But at night, you created a ruckus with your mewing. You were in pain and I couldn’t do anything. My dad promised to bring you to the vet once tomorrow came. But, your tomorrow never came.

I remember waking up, rushing to you, to see how you were doing. But when I tried to wake you, your hardened body wouldn’t budge. Your eyes wouldn’t open. There was not a single breath left in your body. All that was left was a cold, rigid corpse that looked so much like you- but I couldn’t accept the fact that it was really you.

I remember not crying at first, even telling my mother that you were just sleeping, until she felt your lifeless body and looked at me. It was as if a dam had exploded and all the tears came rushing out. You were really gone.

I remember burying you in a secluded forest.  I remember weeping every time I thought of you. But soon the tears ran out, and it got me thinking. That was my first brush with death, and it sucked like hell. But you showed me reality too, that death is a natural part of life and that one should not dwell on but move on ‘cause life never waits.

I remember 13^th September, the tragic day.

I remember that during your first death anniversary, I visited your grave.

I remember how you became part of my life- even if it was just for 6 short days. It felt like 6 long months.

And I remember how I regretted in not saying this. But now I have the chance to;

Gab, Good bye.